Just Don't do it for You

My wife and I talk a lot more than we did before she and I had affairs. I always thought we communicated well, and it was what held our marriage together. We had communicated well at the interpersonal awareness workshop we were attending when we met, and I always thought that had carried on. I could not have been more wrong. Instead we both became less inclined to share ourselves with our partner as a result of real, perceived, or imagined emotional attacks or injuries. Now we talk more, and the conversations don't always flow smoothly. Sometimes we have these talks with the aid of our therapist. More often these days we are able to do it on our own, although we still see him about twice per month as a couple. Sometimes, during these talks, my wife comes up against our differences, what I have called incompatibilities in the past, and she will say "Maybe I just don't do it for you". And maybe she doesn't. But with two lovely daughters to care for, we are strongly inclined to stay together for their sake. They are busy now with coloring pages and others activities for children their age. After all, my wife and I don't yell, scream, or throw things at each other. We are not emotionally or physically abusive.We are just not as happy as we should be. Or at least I am not as happy as I should be, most times my wife can be pretty happy with me. Last night I had a dream that caused me to awake with a start, and have a hard time returning to sleep. For months now I have had a recurring dream. In it, I have a project that I am working on with, or for, my wife. It's something that doesn't quite make sense, something about lending her a certain number of cd's or something like that. But the project is something I am doing at the request of her and her therapist. And for awhile now its been not making any progress. And then last night, in my dream, my wife told me that her therapist said "Perhaps you are just not that into her" I guess I know what to talk to my therapist about tomorrow. That and the feelings I had last Thursday, about which I already posted.